Creamed
by TehKusoGaki
Summary: Eiri tries to do a good thing. Can you really expect it not to backfire?


**Title:** Creamed

**Fandom:** Gravitation

**Characters:** Eiri and Shuichi, with appearances of Hiro and Suguru, and mentions of others.

**Summary:** Eiri tries to do a good thing. Can you really expect it not to backfire?

**Genre:** Comedy

**Word Count:** 2400ish

**Rating/Warnings:** T for my usual foul language, lots of sexual references and innuendo, and a very horny Eiri Yuki.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the horrible idea that brought this monster into existence, and I apologize.

**Notes:** This story was originally part of my other story Say Cheese. For various reasons I decided to cut it from that story, but foolishly thought it would be a shame to scrap it entirely. So, after a little bit of reworking, and adding some material, I'm finally posting it as a stand alone piece. I hope it works well on its own, but please feel free to check out the story it was originally written for if you'd like.

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It had been a very long, hot, miserable day near the end of the longest, hottest, most miserable summer Tokyo ever had, and coincidently (or maybe not so coincidently considering Tohma Seguchi controls the universe) Shuichi and Eiri both had appearances at the same TV station that day.

Eiri's interview with some daytime talk show host whose name Eiri couldn't remember (not that he could be bothered to) had ended before Shuichi finished competing on yet another ridiculous game show. Thankfully it wasn't being filmed live (Eiri was certain something disastrous would've happened if it were) so he decided to surprise the brat by paying him a visit.

Shuichi had been thrilled that 'his darling Yuki' had come to see him and was barely able to contain his elation. Unfortunately, the filming wasn't over yet, so Eiri was unable to take the boy home so Shuichi could release that excitement in the bedroom. _If_ they made it that far. Eiri wouldn't have minded settling for taking the boy in the backseat or spread over the hood of the car that was waiting patiently in the parking garage, or maybe even a quickie in the elevator if even that was too long to hold out for.

But, alas, _that_ would have to wait.

Damn it! All Eiri wanted to do was go home. He was exhausted and irritable and he felt over-dressed in the damn suit that Tohma had somehow talked him into (but fortunately not out of) wearing to his interview. Was it really asking for too much to wind down from a tiresome day at home on the couch while 'wifey' massaged his feet?

Apparently so, because instead he had to watch as wifey dived into vat of chocolate pudding, chugged wasabi flavored milkshakes, or fought off a slew of alien tentacle monsters with the show's sponsor's latest line of styling products. Or whatever the hell they had him doing this time for a chance for more exposure while wearing an absurd costume that already 'exposed' more of him than was necessary.

Eiri was not too keen about watching his idiot lover perform like a circus monkey while one of the stagehands stole glances and made thinly veiled passes at the boy. Eiri was fairly certain it would be detrimental to his career to get arrested for assaulting the giggling fanboy in front of so many witnesses, so he decided to get the hell out of there, with or without the damn brat.

Besides, he was too pretty to go to jail.

Unfortunately, Shuichi, who was often more perceptive than he was given credit for, sensed that he was about to bolt.

"Yuki," he said, approaching Eiri as the cameramen were getting ready for yet another retake. "It's so hot in here. Why don't you get some ice cream for both of us while we're finishing up the last take? There should be a stand in the next studio over."

"Ice cream?" Eiri asked dubiously. "In a television station? You're kidding, right?"

"Nuh-uh," Shuichi shook his head, "Sakuma-san's going to be here later and he requested it."

Leave it to that bunny-toting weirdo to make such a ludicrous demand and actually have it granted.

"Then forget it. There's no way I'm going to risk running into that freak."

"Don't worry about it. He isn't scheduled to appear 'til much later. I want strawberry flavor, 'kay?"

'Kay?

'_Kay?! _

Eiri ground his teeth. He couldn't believe the nerve of that punk. Did he look like the damn kid's servant? He wanted to tell Shuichi off, he was pretty sure that they would have been out of there by now if Shuichi hadn't kept screwing up, but there were too many people watching.

Bastards. Eiri wondered how much those voyeurs were being paid for this. He hoped it wasn't nearly enough to make up for all the chaos and hassle that came from having to deal with troublesome celebrities like Bad Luck's Shuichi Shindou, and Ryuichi Sakuma. Eiri just wished the assholes would mind their own business long enough for him to tell Shuichi exactly where to shove that ice cream.

Ah, fuck. It looked like his only options were to look totally whipped or look like a total asshole. Weighing his choices carefully, he couldn't decide which would be more damaging to his reputation, Eiri settled on pleasing Shuichi.

It was hard to say no when the little minx was throwing him that coy, innocent expression anyway, and he always did have a weakness for sweets. But mostly, Eiri was certain he'd seen that insane American manager of Shuichi's lurking around somewhere and he didn't want to be rewarded for upsetting the boy with a volley of open fire.

He didn't hate his suit that much.

When Eiri finally returned with two ice cream cones in hand after waiting in line _forever _behind the world's most indecisive person, it looked like everything had finally wrapped up. Most of the people had cleared out and the only ones left were either striking the set or putting equipment away.

At last! Now Eiri could drag his prize home and make sure he was amply rewarded for his efforts. After all, he had played the part of the 'good boyfriend' well and as far as he was concerned Shuichi owed him big time.

But first he would have to find him. Where the hell did that brat run off to?

"Yuki!" Shuichi called out from near one of the backdrops. "Over here."

Eiri swiftly walked over to Shuichi and handed him his quickly melting frozen treat before it could turn into a gooey puddle of liquid.

"Thanks!" Shuichi exclaimed as he greedily snatched the cone away from Eiri.

"Where are Nakano and that other one?" Eiri asked, only mildly curious.

"Oh, Hiro and Fujisaki went to change into street clothes. I thought I'd better stay behind and wait for you to come back. What took you so long?"

Eiri glared at the insolent twerp. He had half a mind to shove the ice cream in the boy's face and storm off right then and there. However, he became distracted watching Shuichi lick the dripping ice cream off his fingers.

It was mesmerizing the way that pink tongue deftly glided over those sticky digits, lapping up the trail of dripping liquid before continuing its journey upward to swirl around the bulbous glob on top of the cone, licking the sweet, creamy essence of it.

"Would you like some, Yuki?" Shuichi asked, pausing for a moment and looking up at Eiri.

Hell yeah, he would! But his hardly seemed like an appropriate place for something like that…

Oh! Wait, the _ice cream._

"Uh, sure," Eiri replied, taking a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching.

Shuichi lifted up his cone so Eiri could have a taste and then sweetly asked, "Can I try some of yours, too?"

Ungh… Didn't that tease of an imp understand the effect he was having on Eiri's already barely restrained libido? At this rate they would have to make use of not only the elevator and Eiri's car, but also one of the dressing rooms and possibly a hotel on the way home.

Even though he couldn't believe he was actually doing it, Eiri found himself complying with Shuichi's request and held out his nearly forgotten about ice cream so the singer could have a taste.

It was even more surprising that he found himself enjoying the strangely intimate interlude.

That is until he heard stifled giggling off to his left. He instinctively bit into and snatched up the ice cream Shuichi had offered him while shoving the cone in his hand forward: right into Shuichi's face.

He turned in time to see Nakano and that damn Tohma clone struggling to contain their laughter. Hiroshi grinned smugly as he held up a camera and clicked its button, Suguru wordlessly egging him on.

Everything after that happened with the predictability of toppling dominoes.

Shuichi recovered from shock and wiped the ice cream off his face. He immediately started shouting, first at Eiri, but he quickly rounded on his hysterically laughing bandmates and supposed friends. Eiri, hitting his breaking point, started to storm off. Shuichi pleaded for Eiri to stay, but Eiri had no intention of sticking around to be the butt of everyone's jokes.

So Eiri left, more frustrated than he had ever been, in more than one way.

Several hours later, Eiri knew he was in trouble when the apartment door flung open, signaling that Shuichi had returned home.

"DAMN IT! _YUKIIII! _Where the hell are you?!" Shuichi shouted.

Eiri pretended not to hear anything and turned up the volume on the television set.

He heard Shuichi slam the door shut and come stomping toward him, but kept his eyes glues to the screen. He didn't have to look to see that Shuichi was livid.

"_Yuuuuuki!"_ Shuichi wailed. He hated being ignored.

Eiri pointed the remote at the TV set to change the channel, but Shuichi ripped it out of his hand hurled the remote at the wall after hitting the power button.

Eiri glared at Shuichi.

Shuichi crossed his arms over his chest and stuck his lower lip out in a determined pout.

And they stared at each other.

"_Well?" _Shuichi demanded, breaking the stalemate. "Aren't you going to say you're sorry?"

"Me?" Eiri asked incredulously. "I don't think so."

"Wha! But! Grr!" Shuichi flailed around erratically as he struggled to maintain a grip on his temper. "Damn it! You _abandoned_ me! _After_ you shoved ice cream in my face in front of everyone, and you're not even going to _apologize?!"_

"So?" Eiri grunted. He turned his head the other way and lowered his voice to a soft rumble. "You had it coming."

"Whaaaa!? You jerk!" Shuichi yelled. Shuichi grabbed Eiri's shoulder and forced the man to face him, only to lose what was left of his self-control when he caught a glimpse of Eiri's sullen expression. He fell onto the couch next to Eiri and began hammering him with his fists.

"Bastard! Asshole! Meanie!" Shuichi kept pounding on Eiri's chest while tears of hurt, frustration, and rage welled up in the corners of his eyes. "What kind of evil boyfriend could say such a thing?"

"Grr!" Eiri couldn't take it anymore! He grabbed Shuichi's hands and pinned him to the couch. "I was _trying_ to be a good one, you shit!"

"Yeah, right!" Shuichi scoffed and bucked up underneath Eiri while trying to pull his hands free of Eiri's grip.

"I was!" Eiri yelled. "Why the hell do you think I showed up there?!"

Shuichi stopped struggling and blinked.

"I don't know…" he mumbled.

"Because I was trying to be a good guy and do something _nice _for once," Eiri explained. "I thought it'd make you happy if I came to pick you up."

"Yuki…" Shuichi whispered. "But you…"

"You always paint me as the damn villain," Eiri continued. "Here I was trying to do something nice for you, and then you make me wait forever, boss me around in front of everybody, and if that weren't enough, you had me acting all mushy so your stupid friends could take snapshots of it!"

Shuichi tilted his head and looked up apologetically at Eiri. It was almost tempting, but Eiri wasn't finished yet.

"So you obviously deserved what you got!" Eiri huffed and looked away to avoid any more accusatory stares from Shuichi.

Shuichi started giggling, and Eiri's attention snapped back to the infuriating imp.

"Is that what got into you then?" Shuichi asked. "You were embarrassed?"

Eiri instantly released Shuichi and recoiled. He carefully stared away from Shuichi and felt his face grow hot.

"Yeah, so?" he admitted. "Anyone would have been embarrassed by that."

"So," Shuichi said, sitting back up and wrapping his arms around Eiri, "that's adorable."

"Shut up." Eiri tried to shrug the little monkey off, but unfortunately, Shuichi was used to his frequent fits of standoffishness and clung to him like a barnacle.

"I'm sorry," Shuichi whispered dangerously close to Eiri's ear. "I can't help it that you're so cute."

"Get off," Eiri commanded and tried once more to free himself from Shuichi's viselike grip.

"Nuh-uh!" Shuichi protested. He gently nibbled on Eiri's earlobe, tugging softly on Eiri's earring with his teeth before licking around the outer rim, then darting his tongue inside and retreating it out just as quickly.

"Quit that!" Eiri really wished at moments like this that a certain pest hadn't discovered that particular weakness. He tried vainly to suppress the shivers that ran down his body, and wrestled with himself not to give in to Shuichi's temptations.

Damn it! He'd had enough!

Eiri shoved Shuichi away as hard as he could, but lost his balance in the attempt. Shuichi took the opportunity to push Eiri onto his back and straddle him.

Shuichi flashed a victorious smile. Eiri sighed in defeat.

The brat obviously had no intention of leaving him alone!

So Eiri decided to shut Shuichi up the only way he knew how: by grabbing Shuichi's shirt and pulling him down into a kiss.

"Nghhh…" Shuichi moaned. Eiri could feel that he was already getting into it. Shuichi rolled his hips against Eiri's, breaking the kiss with a gasp when Eiri responded by grabbing his ass and pressing up into him.

Shuichi was already panting, but Eiri wasn't about to let him have a break so soon. He pushed himself back up, then grabbed Shuichi's hair and tilted his head back to give him another forceful kiss.

It was about time Eiri got to release all his built-up frustration. Maybe he would make sure he got the same kind of treatment Shuichi had given his ice cream earlier. It was just too bad that he'd missed the opportunity to…

Eiri pushed Shuichi off and stood up.

Shuichi looked up at him gaping.

"What?" he asked, confused and disappointed.

"Come on," Eiri said, giving Shuichi a smirk as he pulled him off the couch. "We're taking this to the parking garage."

"Huh? What? Why?" was all the confused kid could spit out.

"Because you owe me," Eiri answered, pulling Shuichi close and spanking him.

"D-do not!" Shuichi said, but played along anyway.

Finally, Eiri was going to take Shuichi for a ride in his Mercedes.

After they went down in the elevator first…

The End.

* * *

Damn. Looks like I finally posted something.

Special thanks to lawless and yukitoshuu for all their help with trying to help me shape this into something worthwhile. That said, I was the last person to touch it and made all final decisions regarding edits so any leftover oddities, mistakes, or poor storytelling choices are the result of my own stubbornness or ineptitude.

My apologies to Maki Murakami, the fandom, all the characters I portrayed herein, and anyone unfortunate enough to have read this or any other of my fics.

I hope anyone who did find this piece found it at least a little bit enjoyable ^_^

Still reading? Story's over. You can comment below if you'd like, otherwise get out while you still can.


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